Old is negro lesbian dwarve-ish

Him
He impressed me much
that one time
in relating a personal experience
he had to an abstract sound
he had the flu and his fever
had made him hallucinate
and in this dream, this daze
mixed and stirred with an old need
for healthy noise or unhealthy
he began to envelop a
psychedelic band and name witheld
which gave him the impression
the music of death
could actually be an afterlife
the cultures of medias had won
another unwitting compatriot
and good riddance
as there are many examples of idiocy
but why carry on?
besides
if
you are reading this it seems like coded hate
so maybe possibly and definitely it does not matter

2.
I sit in a room
crowded and drunk
loud and stinky
and I forgive
myself for being
like me
crowded, drunk, loud, and stinky
then memory
begins to swill about
and lies to me
about, “what the fuck?”
I scream aloud,
“what the fuck?”
the jack ass says,
“why do as you say?”
“never mind, I need to go away”
I sit in a room
alone and sober
quiet and clean
and I forgive myself for asking
“what the fuck does all of this mean?”